When you think about the word “negotiation”, what comes to mind?
You might picture a heated discussion. Or maybe a standoff in a boardroom, with both sides pushing, posturing, and trying to “win” at all costs.
This might be what negotiation looks like in films. But in the real world, the strongest negotiators tend to do the opposite. Their conversations feel calm and (surprisingly) collaborative, and they approach negotiation as a structured, professional conversation rather than a confrontation.
So if you’ve ever struggled to get what you want out of negotiations (or maybe you’re just curious about how to negotiate better), I’ve put together a list of some of my favourite exercises that can help.
But first…
What Strong Negotiation Skills Really Look Like
People often assume it takes natural charisma and sharp one-liners to be a good negotiator. But good negotiators know that you’ll never win people over with personality alone; you also need to be:
- Well-prepared and clear on what you want and what you can flex on.
- An active listener and willing to understand the other person’s priorities and pressures before pushing your own position.
- Emotionally controlled and able to stay professional when conversations become tense or uncertain.
- Thoughtful with information; always careful about what you share (and when), rather than revealing everything upfront.
- Focused on the long-term and mindful of how discussions could affect trust, credibility, and working relationships in the future.
Bonus Resource: 8 Common Mistakes in Negotiations (And How to Avoid Them)
How to Improve Negotiation Skills: 14 Exercises to Try
With this foundation in mind, let’s look at some practical ways you can start improving your negotiation skills in everyday workplace situations.
Pre-negotiation Planning
If there’s one habit that separates confident negotiators from those who feel on the back foot, it’s preparation. Not preparation in the sense of memorising scripts or rehearsing clever responses, but taking a few minutes to think clearly about what the conversation actually needs to achieve.
Many workplace negotiations become uncomfortable because people go in slightly unsure of their own position. They know what they want, but they haven’t thought through what they’re willing to compromise on or where their real priorities sit.
Strong negotiators don’t leave these things to chance. Before the conversation starts, they take time to get clear on three areas:
- Their own position and best/worst-case scenarios.
- The other person’s likely priorities, including what pressures they may be under, what success looks like for them, and what constraints might be shaping their responses.
- The questions they want to ask, not to challenge, but to understand the context before making proposals.
This level of preparation does two important things. First, it gives you a sense of control. When you know your boundaries and objectives, you’re far less likely to agree to something you later regret. Second, it frees up mental space during the conversation, making it easier to listen properly rather than scrambling to work things out on the spot.
To improve your pre-negotiation planning skills, here are a few exercises to try.
| Pre-negotiation Planning Exercises | ||
| Exercise | What to Do | Why It Helps |
| #1: Outcome Mapping | Before any negotiation, write down: Your ideal outcomeOne or two acceptable compromisesOne clear limit you won’t cross | Helps you walk into the conversation knowing where you stand, so you’re less likely to hesitate or agree to something you later regret. |
| #2: Role Reversal | Spend five minutes preparing from the other person’s point of view. Ask yourself what they may be trying to protect, deliver, or avoid. | Makes it easier to anticipate reactions and respond calmly, rather than being caught off guard or defensive. |
| #3: Question Planning | Prepare three open questions designed purely to gather context, not persuade or justify your position. | Shifts your mindset from “defending” to “understanding”, leading to calmer and more productive discussions. |
Bonus Resource: Top 5 Tips For Planning Your Negotiations
Becoming a Better Listener
One of the biggest misconceptions about negotiation is that success comes from having the strongest argument or the most convincing explanation. In reality, though, many negotiations stall or become uncomfortable because people focus on persuading too early, before they’ve taken the time to fully understand what’s driving the other person.
Strong negotiators tend to listen more than they speak, especially at the beginning of a conversation. They’re curious about priorities, pressures, and concerns, and they use that information to guide the discussion in a more constructive direction.
When people feel properly heard, a few important things happen. To start, they become more open, more cooperative, and more willing to explore all the options. This then creates space for better outcomes, without the conversation feeling forced or adversarial.
Here are a few practical exercises for becoming a better listener.
| Listening Skills Exercises | ||
| Exercise | What to Do | Why It Helps |
| #4: Delayed Response | In practice conversations, wait two seconds after the other person finishes speaking before you respond. | Gives the other person space to finish their thoughts and helps you avoid jumping in too quickly. |
| #5: Summarising Drill | After the other person speaks, briefly summarise their key point before adding your own view. | Reassures people that they’ve been heard and helps keep the conversation on track. |
| #6: Question-Only Practice | Spend the first two minutes of a negotiation asking questions only. No statements or proposals. | Slows the conversation down and helps you understand what actually matters before moving forward. |
Emotional Regulation
Even with good preparation and strong listening skills, negotiations can still become tense as expectations change or budgets become tight. In these moments, it’s easy to let our emotions shape the tone of the discussion.
When frustration or defensiveness creeps in, people often react rather than respond. They speak more sharply, rush to justify themselves, or become overly rigid in their position. While these reactions are understandable, they tend to make negotiations harder, not easier.
Effective negotiators are aware of this risk. They don’t ignore emotion, but they manage it carefully, keeping the conversation focused on the issue rather than the personalities involved. This steadiness helps maintain credibility and protects the working relationship, even when the topic itself is challenging.
Managing emotions in negotiation is a skill that improves with awareness and practice. Here are a few exercises that can help.
| Emotional Regulation Exercises | ||
| Exercise | What to Do | Why It Helps |
| #7: Trigger Awareness | After a difficult conversation, reflect on what triggered frustration or defensiveness. Try to name the moment or comment that shifted your emotional state. | Helps you spot patterns in your reactions, so you’re less likely to be caught off guard next time. |
| #8: Neutral Language Phrasing | Practise replacing reactive phrases with calm, neutral responses, such as: “Let’s look at our options” instead of “That’s not possible”.“Can we talk through what’s driving this?” instead of “That doesn’t make sense.”“Let’s take a step back for a moment” instead of “You’re not listening.”“What would need to change for this to work?” instead of “That won’t work.” | Keeps conversations from escalating, making it easier to disagree without causing tension. |
| #9: Pace Control | During role plays, deliberately slow your speaking pace when discussions become tense. | Slowing down often takes the heat out of the conversation and gives everyone space to think more clearly. |
Information Control
One of the easiest ways to lose leverage in a negotiation is by saying too much too soon. This often happens unintentionally when we want to appear open or easy to work with. For example, you might casually mention a tight deadline or budget early on, only to realise later that you’ve restricted your own flexibility in the conversation.
Strong negotiators are more deliberate (and they know when to stay silent). They focus first on understanding the other person’s priorities and pressures, then they decide which details genuinely help move the discussion forward.
Being measured with information doesn’t mean being vague or guarded. It simply means choosing clarity over oversharing, and responding thoughtfully based on what you’ve learned rather than revealing everything upfront.
This is a subtle skill that can take some time to develop, but these two exercises can help.
| Information Control Exercises | ||
| Exercise | What to Do | Why It Helps |
| #10: Pause Before Sharing | In practice negotiations, ask at least two open questions before offering any facts, figures, or constraints. | Prevents you from giving too much away too early and helps you respond based on what the other person actually cares about. |
| #11: Getting Comfortable With Silence | Practise staying quiet when there’s a pause in the conversation. Instead of filling the gap, allow the other person time to think or continue speaking. | Helps you get comfortable with pauses and avoid sharing information just to fill the space. |
Long-term Thinking
It’s easy to view negotiation as a one-off event: a meeting, a call, or a decision that needs to be made quickly. But in most workplace settings, negotiation is part of an ongoing relationship, not a single transaction.
Strong negotiators keep this in mind. They consider not only what’s being agreed today, but how the conversation will shape trust, credibility, and future collaboration. This long-term perspective often leads to more balanced decisions and stronger working relationships over time.
When people feel treated fairly and respectfully in negotiations, they’re more likely to be open, flexible, and cooperative in the future. Conversely, any short-term gains achieved at the expense of goodwill can undermine trust and make future conversations more difficult than they need to be.
Here are a few exercises that can help you build a long-term mindset in everyday negotiations.
| Long-term Thinking Exercises | ||
| Exercise | What to Do | Why It Helps |
| #12: Thinking One Step Ahead | After each negotiation, take a few minutes to reflect on how the agreement might influence your next interaction. Consider how it could affect things like expectations, tone, or trust in future conversations. | Helps you take a step back and consider what the relationship might look like in the future. |
| #13: Following Through | Make a simple habit of tracking agreed actions and deadlines. Follow through promptly and communicate early if anything changes. | Builds trust over time by showing that your word can be relied on. |
| #14: Look for Small Ways to Add Value | Once an agreement is in place, look for one small, relevant way to be helpful. For example, you could share an insight, flag a potential risk, or suggest a useful next step. | Keeps relationships positive and shows you’re invested beyond the immediate agreement. |
Bringing It All Together
In my experience, the best negotiators know how to prepare, listen, and frame conversations so both sides feel heard and motivated to move forward. This doesn’t always come naturally to everyone, but with the right habits, these skills are well within reach for anyone willing to practise and reflect on the way they communicate.
To quickly recap this article, here are the five key areas to focus on if you want to improve your negotiation skills at work:
- Prepare with purpose: Go into conversations clear on your goals, your limits, and where you have some flexibility.
- Listen before you persuade: Ask questions, slow the conversation down, and focus on understanding the other person’s priorities first.
- Manage emotion under pressure: Stay calm, professional, and focused on the issue rather than the personalities involved.
- Be measured with information: Provide information thoughtfully in a way that supports the discussion as it unfolds, instead of oversharing at the beginning.
- Think beyond the immediate outcome: Focus on building trust, following through on agreements, and being mindful of how short-term discussions can shape relationships in the future.
If you’d like more structured support and advice on how to develop negotiation skills in the workplace, our CPD-Accredited Negotiation Skills Training Course gives you the chance to practise these techniques with an experienced negotiation trainer.
To learn more about the course or make a booking for your team, please get in touch or visit the course page to see upcoming dates and options for in-person, online, or on-site delivery.
Frequently Asked Questions About Negotiation
How can I improve my negotiation skills?
Negotiation involves a mix of different skills that improve with practice.
If you’re looking to improve your negotiation skills, a good place to start is by building a few simple habits, like:
- Preparing properly before discussions
- Listening more than you speak
- Confirming what’s been agreed
- Phrasing objections in a constructive way
Over time, you’ll become more comfortable navigating difficult conversations and negotiating your position.
Can negotiation skills be learned, or are they natural?
While some people may appear more comfortable in difficult conversations, strong negotiation skills are built on behaviours that can be practised and improved. For example, skills like listening, managing emotions, and framing discussions can be developed over time.
Why do negotiations often feel uncomfortable?
Negotiations often feel uncomfortable because they involve uncertainty, vulnerability, and the possibility of conflict.
For example, many people worry that they might be perceived as difficult or unreasonable if they ask for too much. Emotions and power dynamics can also make conversations feel tense, even when both sides want a positive outcome. For more advice on navigating power dynamics in negotiations, you may find my previous article helpful: How to Negotiate with a More Powerful Counterparty.